How to Raise a Savvy and Confident Kid
Image by Jude Beck via Unsplash
3 Ways To Prepare Your Child to Thrive
by CJ Scarlet
Parents want their children to know how to handle themselves in dangerous situations with sketchy people and they want them to feel confident and have a healthy sense of self-esteem.
Danger expert and author CJ Scarlet shares 3 ways you can prepare your child to thrive in this sometimes-scary world of ours.
Your Child is a Superhero!
Your little chipmunk possesses three superpowers that can protect him/her from predators. They are:
Intuition. Children have a strong gut sense. Help your child cultivate it by encouraging him or her to listen to their gut when it tells them something isn’t right about a person or situation.
Boundaries. Boundaries are the line we allow people to cross (or not) in our physical and emotional space. You are your child’s best teacher in this area. Your job is to talk to your child about boundaries and help him or her decide what they are, how to recognize when they are being violated and how to defend them.
Moxie. Moxie is your child’s willingness to stand in her/his power to honor her/his intuition and defend her/his boundaries. It means being as rude or aggressive as necessary to someone who’s setting off alarm bells in them and pushing their boundaries past the breaking point.
How Your Child Can “Train” Bullies to Leave Him/Her Alone
Kids see and understand so much more than what we give them credit for. They know what’s up and unless they’re just starting school, they’ve likely already seen bullies at work.
Studies have found that bullying and teasing are among kids’ top worries (along with school shootings). Teaching your child how to deal with bullies will empower him/her to quickly nip it in the bud.
Here are 4 things your mini Avenger can do to “train” bullies to leave him/her alone:
Embrace being the butt of the joke. When your child makes jokes about himself based on what the bully says, it puts HIM/HER in control of the situation and denies the bully the upset reaction he/she was looking for.
Respond with as little emotion as possible. Wearing a poker face and denying the bully the satisfaction of an emotional reaction causes the bully to get tired of his/her game and, hopefully, stop his/her behavior.
Respond with good humor or positive emotions. Act like she/he’s thrilled that the bully noticed him/her, agree with the bully, thank him/her for their interesting perspective, act with boredom or disinterest, or respond with the same phrase every time (for example, “Thanks for sharing.”). This will suck the oxygen out of the bully’s fire and cause him/her to give up on the quest to get a reaction from your child.
Be fearless. Accept that she/he’s being targeted and try not to care so much. Realize that since it isn’t about him/her or what he/she does or doesn’t do, the bully has some measure of power over him/her. However, HE or SHE has the power to choose how to react. Teach your child to use that power to free herself/himself from worry and fear.
5 Ways to Instill Confidence & Self-Esteem in Your Child
You can do a lot to help increase your child’s confidence and self-esteem by teaching her/him to:
Take pride in their appearance by taking regular baths or showers, brushing their teeth every day before school, and wearing clean clothes. Kids like other kids who smell good.
Pursue activities they really enjoy and are good at so they’ll feel more confident about their abilities and what they have to offer the world.
Learn the life-changing magic of helping others whenever they can through both random acts of kindness and regular volunteer efforts.
Know they always have a choice in how to respond to the challenges in their life, including the words and behavior of others. Life isn’t about what happens to them, but how they deal with what happens to them.
Expect that when they try a new activity or project, they’re probably not going to be that good at it at first. Everyone’s a beginner when trying something new and they might feel awkward and uncomfortable or worry about looking stupid, but your sweetie will get better with practice and perseverance.
Know that it’s okay to fail once in a while; in fact, it’s inevitable when trying new things and taking healthy risks.
Photo courtesy of CJ Scarlet/Photography credit Baley Reeves