Your Image Determines Your Success

How do you think you are doing in life? Students get report cards in school and employees get an annual evaluation but what about your personal life? Do you get regular valuable feedback from important people in your life about how you are doing regarding your relationship with them and others around you? Most likely not. What if you asked your friends or a family member who you trust and respect to do an evaluation about you? Are you up for the challenge? It’s a great personal development tool if everyone is honest and the recipient promises to take constructive criticism well. This kind of input should be considered helpful, so do not turn against the person who agreed to give you an honest opinion of how you are being perceived. Consider it a gift that will let you reflect on what corrective steps you might want to take.

 How To Make New Friends And Develop Positive Personal And Business Relationships 

“There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you are the one who will change theirs.” – Angel Flonis Harefa

When you meet new people show a genuine interest to get to know them better unless, of course, you have no interest in developing any kind of relationship with that person.

Ask open-ended questions to get to know the person better. People generally like to talk about themselves and will be flattered if you show an interest in them and their activities. You can expect that they will show you the same respect and let you talk about yourself by asking you relevant questions, too.

Learn to compliment people and mean it. Fake compliments are a no-no. If you are not comfortable with receiving compliments, learn to accept them graciously by saying, “Thank you. That’s nice to hear”,  rather than putting whatever you were complimented on down. People often appear to be embarrassed by compliments they receive but when being criticized are quick to believe it. When someone compliments you, let them do so without interrupting with a self-deprecating message otherwise, you will make them uncomfortable taking this genuine gesture away from them. People who are uncomfortable with receiving compliments have a lack of confidence.

Here’s the flip side. Constructive criticism. Although it may be difficult to hear negative feedback, you can learn from it and become better at whatever you received the critical feedback for. So listen and learn to become the best that you can be. There may come a time when you have to give honest feedback. Are you comfortable with doing so? Communicating on that level is not always easy and also depends on the willingness of the other person to take it well without becoming defensive. When giving constructive criticism, be kind and considerate and do it in a friendly rather than authoritative tone. Try to find out and understand why the other person did what he/she did first and then offer advice on how to do it better next time.

Expand your circle of friends. You grow by befriending people who are not your age, whose native language isn’t the same as yours, who don’t come from your social class and aren’t the same race as you.

Learn to show enthusiasm and always maintain a sense of humor. People like people who make them laugh. Project self-confidence in your personal and professional life because it is a powerful trait to have. Be careful to not confuse self-confidence with arrogance, though, as the latter will not help you make/keep friends or influence people.

 Socialize

We are living in a world today where most of our life takes place online, even friendships. Make an effort to have at least two get-togethers a week with friends to connect in person during which you pay full attention to that person and not look at your phone while talking with them. In the current COVID-19 era, please consider the social distancing requirements.

The Gift of Time

The most valuable gift we can give someone is our time because we can’t get it back. Appreciate when someone spends time with you and helps you tackle a problem or just listens to you to help you through a situation. This person has just given you a portion of his/her life and may have sacrificed working on an important project instead. Send this person a thoughtful note the next day to thank him/her for the investment of their time made. When the opportunity arises, reciprocate by doing something for this friend in return. Life is a give and take.

I love to hang out with people who don’t make me want to look at my phone. These are people I can have a fun or interesting conversation and time with. If you have such a person in your life, respect him or her by being present when you get together.

Here’s a list of things to consider to broaden your horizon and become a person people would love to be around.

• Watch TED Talks about current events and issues.

• Learn a second language or do something creative.

• Reduce social media exposure and don’t respond to everything you don’t agree with, especially posts of a political nature. Some people like to use their posts as bait to get you into a heated discussion so they can disparage you or someone in the comments. If certain posts get too much for you, you can always apply the unfriend, unfollow or mute feature.

• Do your own research on current events and important developments. Don’t believe everything you see or read in the media or on social media. Realize that a person’s opinion is just an opinion and not necessarily true or reality. Be alert and form your own opinion. Don’t’ follow the masses, develop independent thinking because everyone has an agenda that they want to convince you of, although they often are not an authority on the subject in question.

•  Play intelligent games like chess and other games that require strategic thinking or emotional intelligence.

• Prepare a list of things you have accomplished in life as well as a list of difficult situations or failures you encountered and how you overcame them. It will give you strength when new challenges come your way.  

• Hang around people who are smarter than you. If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. Everyone needs a good mentor to move onward and upward.

• Stay positive even during difficult times. Be grateful and kind. Life is short and once it’s gone it will never come again.

• Get rid of toxic and negative people in your life. They will only drag you down and they’ll have a problem for every solution.

• Make inclusivity and diversification part of your standard.

Karynne Summars // Editor in Chief