From Success To Significance
Awakening To Faith, Peace, and Purpose in Tough Times
By Gerard Long
Living hope
Gerard Long is an author and pastor, who had a 30-year career in banking, was the National Director of Alpha USA for seven years, and is the Founder and President of the non-profit corporation Awakening to God Ministries.
My banking career started when I was selected to an executive management program and a Banking and Finance degree at Loughborough University, England. I have to admit, growing up I could never have imagined becoming a banker. I loved sports and the outdoors, and an office job didn’t appeal to me at all. What attracted me to the Banking and Finance degree course was where it was held: Loughborough was and remains the top sports college in the UK and I wanted to train with their running squad, including top athletes such as Sebastian Coe (a double Olympic champion and multiple world record holder).
After graduating, I continued the executive management program with a job in the City of London. I spent several years in retail banking before specializing in Program Management. My most prestigious role was managing HSBC’s Y2K program for the UK and Europe.
I was promoted to Senior Manager and put in charge of HSBC’s preparation for resolving the Millennium Bug. It was my responsibility to ensure the bank had every line of code, microchip, and corporate customer prepared and ready for when time clicked into the new millennium.
It was 1997, and, the more I looked into the problem, the bigger the challenge was. We had to get moving. Because of ‘just in time processing,’ one failure of computer code or a microchip could break a whole supply chain and, potentially, close a factory and put thousands of people out of work. Time was running out and a head of state needed to highlight how serious the issue was. We contacted the government and I ended up visiting 10 Downing Street several times to plan for Prime Minister Tony Blair to speak at our conference.
The HSBC conference was held at a large and prestigious auditorium in the Barbican (on the edge of London’s banking and finance district). I had the honor of meeting the Prime Minister at his car and, together with his security team, we headed up to the huge auditorium.
Unfortunately, one of the security guys pressed the wrong floor on the elevator and I will never forget the look on the janitor's face as, mop in hand and cigarette hanging from her mouth, her morning was interrupted by a chance meeting with the Prime Minister when the door opened!
Our conference was broadcast on prime-time television on all the main UK channels and around the world. After the conference, everything seemed to happen so fast. I was asked to give expert advice on the Y2K problem on television, radio and over other media. And I was even quoted on the front page of USA Today!
After the Y2K role, I was asked to help launch a global product from New York and then to manage the integration of HSBC’s $13.8B acquisition of Household International.
At this point in my life, everything was great and I remember saying to my wife Jeannie, “Does life get any better than this?” I had a wonderful marriage, three beautiful children, a fantastic job, a large and luxurious house and everything I wanted. But then it all changed!
Into the Darkness!
On November 8, 2005, my beloved youngest son Alex (17) became delusional and paranoid after taking some marijuana, and committed suicide. My world fell apart. There are no words to describe the pain and agony of those dark days. The horrible thing with suicide is not just the agonizing grief from missing Alex, but also the blame and shame that goes with it. My precious Jeannie suffered terribly. Her heart was so broken — she went from shock to horror to anger to hatred and finally, utter darkness. From loving me so much, she now hated me and looked for a way to leave me. Jeannie’s once strong faith in God turned, over the months, into unbelief. She just couldn’t reconcile how a loving God, who we had served with all our hearts for so many years, would allow such evil to happen to our family.
As much as Jeannie ran away from God, I ran as hard as I could to God. As far as I could see, I had nowhere else to go with my overwhelming grief and pain. I would get up in the middle of the night, go down to my study and weep from the bottom of my being until I had no more tears to cry.
People talk about a dark night of the soul but for me it was many dark months of the soul. I was at the lowest point of my life and, although I wasn’t suicidal, death seemed a good escape from the agony I was in.
It was while I was at my lowest point that something remarkable happened to me. In my times of weeping, I started to sense a presence with me and, because the atmosphere was filled with love, I have to believe it was God. I physically felt a liquid love being poured into my heart and I began to see things differently.
Over the months, I had three epiphanies during my time with God. First, I started to see my life from the perspective of eternity. It completely changed my thinking and my priorities. Hope stirred in my heart as I saw it wasn’t the end of the story for Alex — I was going to see him again in Heaven.
I sensed a calling to live out my faith at another level. I’m not saying my time in banking was wasted. I believe God used and trained me in that season, but now it was time to step into another calling and to move from banking to philanthropy.
From success to significance
Jeannie graciously accepted my decision to step down from my career with HSBC and to lead a non-profit organization called Alpha USA. On the one hand, it cost me a lot — a large salary, a secure and certain future, and a prestigious career. On the other hand, although it was hard, I was being true to my heart in following what I believed was God’s new calling for my life.
There were practical details to work through, which I covered with a lot of prayer. The move from banking to philanthropy meant a 70% drop in salary and one challenge was how I was going to cover my mortgage payments without having to sell my home (which would have been too much for Jeannie and the children). Miraculously, it all worked out!
Another challenge was adapting to a different culture. I was used to a highly efficient and effective work environment, driven by market pressure to create shareholder value by increasing income and cutting costs. I found the non-profit world to be quite different, with much more emphasis on how we worked and not so much focus on what was being done.
When I wrote memos and newsletters to the staff, I was sometimes told my writing style was too corporate. I never understood the comment until I wrote my new book Living Hope.
My time in banking taught me to be very succinct – communicate a message as clearly as possible, with the minimum amount of words. Jeannie (a former ballerina) helped me to edit my book and she added what we called, ‘color.’ I learned that it was not just what I was saying that mattered but putting more heart and feeling into what I was communicating.
However, the challenges in moving from banking to philanthropy were minor compared to the pride and fulfillment I felt when I considered the significance of our work. Tens of thousands of people were experiencing a transformation in their lives from our work and I loved it when we heard the stories. People rescued from addiction, depression and suicide. Families being restored and purpose and hope given to the hopeless. I had moved from success to significance.
My suffering from Alex’s suicide led me from banking to philanthropy. I have a living hope that I am going to see Alex again and, in part, my work is in memory of him.
Epilogue
In 2019, I died from a cardiac arrest. I was pronounced dead not once but twice in the span of 30 minutes. Asking the question, “Why am I still here?”, I sensed a divine calling to write my latest book Living Hope to share the treasures I discovered during a time of catastrophic suffering following the suicide of my beloved son and, eight years later, the tragic death of my beautiful daughter. As if this wasn’t enough, in the same eight-year period, my sister and brother both died of cancer and my nephew died in a car accident. And, after my cardiac arrest, I faced financial ruin and Jeannie was diagnosed with bladder cancer!
In Living Hope, I share my story of how I journeyed through my pain and suffering.
Learn more here: www.livinghopebook.com